Welcome to the World of Wedded Bliss - And Butterflies!
Ah, your wedding day is on the horizon, or it’s today and you are doing a quick last minute helpppppppp of "why am I so nervous about my wedding day"! Regardless, I’ve got you!
Your day is a day full of love, promise, and... a few wedding day nerves. Yes, it's the time when even the most adventurous couples might find themselves with butterflies in their stomachs. But fear not, my lovers! As your guide and confidante through your beautiful wedding planning journey on Moreton Island, I'm here to share some wisdom (tips and tricks) on managing those wedding day nerves.
Understanding Wedding Day Nerves
First off, what exactly are wedding day nerves? They're those fluttery feelings of excitement mixed with anxiety, stress and apprehension that can sneak up on you amidst the cake tastings, dress fittings, barge bookings and weather forecasts. Whether it's the thought of all eyes on you, or the pressure of the day being perfect, wedding day nerves are a perfectly normal part of the wedding experience.
These feelings can range from mild butterflies in the stomach to more intense anxiety. But remember, wedding day nerves are a common experience for many couples. Understanding why this happens and how to manage these feelings can help you enjoy your day to the fullest.
So why the Wedding Day Nerves and Butterflies?
The reasons behind wedding day nerves are as unique as your love story. For some, it's the spotlight of attention, while for others, it's the weight of the commitment. And let's not forget the meticulous details that come with planning such a significant event.
Through my experiences with countless couples on Moreton Island (and back on the mainland), I've seen firsthand that these feelings are a common thread - a part of the human condition, and a part of the journey. And I'm going to be totally honest with you - I get them too! (More on that later).
I’ve even renamed them to “Excitement Nerves”.
Because I’m going to be real, I’ve never met a couple that were nervous about actually being married to each other, it has always been about what surrounds the day.
Here’s a list of the most common reasons couples experience Wedding Day Nerves?
Disclaimer: If you are feeling like “I don’t want to marry this person” please reach out to your celebrant for guidance, this is a whole other scenario. Today I am focusing on couples that can’t imagine their life without each other, who want to get married to their partner, but are feeling nervous about the day and events that surround the day.
The Significance of the Event:
The weight of committing to a partner for life can evoke strong emotions. A wedding is a significant milestone in one's life, often viewed as a once-in-a-lifetime event. The pressure to ensure everything goes perfectly can be overwhelming, making even the most minor details seem monumental.
Fear of the Unknown:
Transitioning into a new life stage can bring about uncertainty. Marriage marks a transition into a new phase of life. Even if a couple has lived together or known each other for a long time, the formal act of marrying can bring about feelings of change and the unknown, triggering anxiety about the future.
Fear of Being the Centre of Attention:
Unlike the private moments couples have shared, a wedding is a public declaration of love and commitment. Not everyone is comfortable being the centre of attention. For individuals who are more introverted or shy, the prospect of being in the spotlight can be daunting. And the awareness of being observed and “judged” by family, friends, and even acquaintances can amplify these nervous feelings. Practice walking down the aisle and envisioning the day standing with your partner.
Emotional Significance:
The emotional weight of expressing one's vows and the significance of the commitment being made can heighten nervousness. The desire to convey one's feelings accurately and meaningfully can be a source of stress. I’ve got you - all of my couples can book a vow writing session with me at no additional cost. Click here for more details. Ps it’s not as overwhelming as you may think ;)
Public Speaking:
Like the fear of being the centre of attention, reading your vows in front of your family and friends can also cause these feelings. I promise you that on the day, you will be so caught up in this beautiful moment that you won’t notice anyone else in the world, not even me, prompting you haha
Worry About Family Dynamics and Expectations:
Weddings often bring together family members with diverse expectations and personalities. Managing these dynamics and meeting or defying these expectations can contribute to a couple's anxiety, and can be challenging. Have a plan for managing these relationships on the day.
Tip 1: don’t forget to let your vendors know, so they can help you on the day.
Tip 2: only invite those that you can’t imagine not being there on the day. I could ramble on for days on this one, but I’ll save it for another day and link back here when it’s ready.
Desire for Perfection:
For those who strive for perfection, the desire to have a flawless wedding can create immense pressure. This can be exacerbated by the influence of social media, where idealised images of weddings are constantly displayed. Wanting the day to go perfectly can create unnecessary pressure.
Financial Stress:
The costs associated with weddings can be significant, leading to stress about budgeting, expenses, and the financial future beyond the wedding day. I’ll delve deeper into my tips for this one below.
How to Manage Wedding Day Nerves
Here are some strategies to help manage those wedding day nerves:
Plan and Prepare
Talk Through Expectations: Communicate with your partner about your hopes and fears for the day, trust me, you are not alone - I guarantee that both of you are feeling this.
Delegate Tasks: Don't hesitate to ask for help from your partner, your friends, family, or even your wedding vendors - we care about you - we want your day to be stress-free and we want you to feel all the positive feelings!
Focus on the Meaning
Centre on Your Love: Remember the reason for the day - celebrating your love and commitment to each other.
Personalise Your Ceremony: Making the ceremony reflect 'you' can reduce anxiety. An amazing celebrant will nail this for you!
Strategies for Reducing Stress
Deep Breathing and Mindfulness: Practice relaxation techniques to stay calm.
Stay Present: Focus on the moment rather than worrying about what could go wrong.
Get Enough Rest: Prioritise sleep in the days leading up to your wedding (and the night before).
Eat Well: Maintain a balanced diet to feel your best, don’t forget your water.
Strategies for Reducing Financial Stress
Brainstorm: Sit down together and brainstorm or map out your day focusing on:
How do we want our wedding day to feel?
What are the must haves?
What are the like to haves?
Budget: Set a budget and stick to it.
Breathe: Focus on the must haves and if budget allows, include the like to haves.
Here is an example of reducing financial stress brainstorm for a Moreton Island Elopement:
How do we want our wedding day to feel?
We will arrive a day/week or two before our wedding and stay after as our honeymoon.
The day is warm, but the nights are cool.
Immediate family and friends will attend.
We will stand barefoot on the beach, wearing comfy outfits (maybe even our swimmers) and have a relaxed and intimate ceremony that focuses on our love for each other.
We will have treasured photos of the ceremony and our family and friends.
We will celebrate our marriage with a sunset beach picnic, reminisce, laughter and drinks.
We walk back to our accommodation happy and relaxed.
We will wake up the next day and want to do it all over again.
What do we need to make that happen (these are our must haves)?
Set a budget.
Choose a wedding date.
Book our celebrant that fits our relaxed and intimate vibe. (Hey, I know an amazing celebrant ~ just saying ;))
Book our photographer who captures the relaxed and intimate vibe of our day.
Book our sunset beach picnic.
Book our transport to the island and accommodation that is close by to our ceremony location
What else would we like on the day (these are our like to haves)?
I digress, but financial stress can be a common trigger that has a flow on effect to the other stressors that cause wedding day nerves, before and during wedding planning, so it’s important to nip that one in the butt from the start ;)
It's Normal to Feel Nervous
Just remember, feeling nervous before your wedding and on the day, is completely normal. It signifies the importance of the commitment you're about to make. Talk to others who have been through it for reassurance and advice.
My Wedding Ceremony Tips For Excited Nervous Couples
Acknowledge the feeling: It’s ok to feel this way.
Stay Connected: Keep open lines of communication with your partner. Better yet, DATE NIGHT - NO WEDDING TALK ALLOWED (check out this blog post).
Focus on What Truly Matters: The day is a celebration of your love and commitment to each other, it’s not a performance.
Embrace the Imperfections: Small hiccups won't detract from the significance of your day, but they will add to the memory, your reaction will determine your memory - make it a good one.
Lean on Your Family, Friends and Vendors: Whether it's your partner, family, or friends, or even your wedding vendors and suppliers, having a support system can work wonders in soothing those jitters. We’ve got you!
Mindfulness is Key: Take a moment to breathe. Like really breathe. Mindfulness and relaxation techniques can help centre your thoughts in the moment.
Make It Your Own: Consider a wedding that reflects your essence as a couple. Perhaps the decision to elope in an intimate setting like Moreton Island will ease the wedding day nerves.
Remember Your Why: Why are you getting married? Is it for you and your partner, or is it for everyone else?
My Promise to You
Wedding day nerves are a natural part of the journey. By understanding why they occur, acknowledging the feeling and having tips and tricks on how to manage them, you can navigate these feelings and focus on the joy and love that your wedding day represents.
Remember, your wedding day is about the start of your new life together, not just one day. At the heart of your wedding day is a love story waiting to be told, memories to be made, promises of tomorrow, and your future ready to be embarked upon. That’s exciting isn’t it!
So excited nerves? Yes!
As your Moreton Island Celebrant, I believe in infusing a piece of my heart and soul into your special day. I’m with you every step of the way. I’ve got you! I’ll be an ear when you need, a reminder when you need, and your biggest (and loudest) cheerleader!
Tip: Personalising your celebration and having a trusted dream team on board, can significantly reduce wedding day nerves and make your wedding truly memorable.
Ready to Say 'I Do' on beautiful Moreton Island?
If you're dreaming of a wedding that's all about love, and less about stress, I'm here to create your perfect day, on beautiful and unforgettable Moreton Island. Say goodbye to wedding day nerves and hello to a day filled with love, laughter, and memories to last a lifetime.
So reach out today, and let's turn those wedding nerves into forever moments! I’ve got you!
This blog post has been inspired by one of my recent couples. My groom asked me whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy he felt so nervous as we were walking down to the ceremony spot. They had been together for 10 years, engaged for over 6, have a family, have their life together. When we talked it through, it was the “making sure everything was perfect for his bride”. It was the “we’ve organised everything to this point, there’s nothing else to do except walk down the aisle”. It was “the end of the planning” and “the beginning of their new chapter”. A moment to be truly celebrated. And we all get a little giddy in those moments, we get excited nerves.
And remember how I said I get them too? It's because of this. It's the lead up to your day, I'm prepared, I'm overly prepared, there's nothing left for me except to share your story and get you married. But, it's the anticipation of making sure your day is perfect!
What are your tips and tricks to settle your nerves when you are in any situation that makes you nervous.... drop them below.
Ps Wedding day jitters are normal - but worrying about your vows doesn’t have to be! Check out the Epic Wedding Vow Writing Course and feel confident knowing your vows are perfect - from your heart, to your lovers heart!